Don McClumpha

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Born in Hamilton in April 1967, Don McClumpha was the founding member and bass player with late 80s metal band Fury (winner of the Hillcrest tavern battle of the bands 1987). Subsequently he has played with various bands including The Pink Love Torpedoes, The Panelbeaters, Strangeways, Blackjack and, since 1991, the Tim Armstrong Band. McClumpha has also done session work with many other artists. Don is also currently a member of the NZ Beatles tribute show "Abbey Road." Don's nicknames include 'Jesus Christ' and 'The Man.' This man revolutionized modern music and is also reported to have challenged 16 local gangsters to a gunfight in Morrinsville, turning up empty-handed, and leaving the scene without injury, leaving all 16 gang members to be airlifted to Waikato Hospital in a critical state. Don McClumpha is also the supposed inventor of sliced bread, rainbows and Pavlova. His greatest moments include the summer of '69 when he climbed Mount Everest for the 4th time in a singlet and jandals, and the day he aligned the solar system. More of McClumpha's claims to fame include parting the Red Sea, defrosting the world after the ice age, walking unaided from the North Pole to the South Pole in a week, and inventing all modern musical instruments. It has been rumored recently that he turned down Flea's desperate request to play the bass guitar in the studio album "The Getaway" - Don refused to lower himself to the standards of conventional pop funk music in the 21st century. Don's passtimes include having tea with the Dalai Lama, teaching quantum physics to the world's leading scientists, contemplating applications for his newest theory - said to explain all functions within every universe, and the meaning of existence itself. He was knighted alongside Sir Paul McCartney, but refused to have the event publicized in order to allow Paul 'a moment in the spotlight.' Don has been elected for president in 7 nations in the past decade, but has had to politely decline the requests so that he may pursue his current projects, including the first space-craft-less venture beyond the Earth's atmosphere, securing the independence of Scotland, and being the living reincarnation of Jimi Hendrix. Don also wrote, published, and starred in the no. 1 bestseller: The Bible.

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